You guys, I just got back from a lovely vacation. My little got to meet a lot of family (including her great-great grandmother!), we went to the beach, ate delicious food, and so far everyone has been healthy. Again, it was lovely and needed.
But this mama is tired. Between quarantining and feeling anxious about being in Texas, while also trying to just get back to normal… it’s been rough. And we’re only in day 3.
Rediscovering our routines has been, excuse my language, a fucking nightmare. My adorable little two year old, who spent 10 days being given chocolate and toys by bribing aunts and grandparents, who got carried a whole lot so as not to touch stuff and get germs, has turned into a tiny monster.
An adorable monster. But still.
I’m trying very hard to respond with extra love. I’m telling myself, it must be so hard to understand why there were not a lot of rules for almost 2 weeks, and now there are. Now we don’t eat snacks between meals, and people don’t just give you things without using your words, and sometimes your told no. It must suck.
So I’m doing lots of snuggles and hugs and telling her how proud I am of her using her voice. I’m also gently establishing routines and boundaries again. And when I get hit or yelled at, I’m trying to take my own advice. Stay calm. Look at the bigger picture. Give love, give love, give love.
So, as I am reminded myself, I wanted to remind you all… this parenting stuff can be really freaking hard and un-fun sometimes. Yes, I melt when she asks me for a hug, but I’m still exhausted, mentally and physically. I still wish I had more help. I wish I could have a break.
I’m going to keep trying to stay calm and radiate love. I’m going to keep saying sorry if I lose it. I’m going to keep holding that little hand and telling her how proud I am.
And I may even throw in some of that love for myself. I’m trying y’all.
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