Last week I went to a lovely picnic at a wildflower center with my little one and partner. We listened to live music, drank some drinks, ate some food. Overall a really nice time.
But I cannot get this one scenario we witnessed out of my head. A family sitting near us was also eating and picnicking away with their three elementary aged daughters. All seemed well, until I noticed that the middle child was crying. Being the eavesdropper I am, I tried to figure out what what going on. Turns out, this girl, who must have been 8 or 9, didn’t like her food and didn’t want to finish eating. Her parents were forcing her to eat it, complete with threats, yelling, shaming… the works.
And it made me SO SAD. This girl was telling her parents that she didn’t like the food (empanadas from a food truck, could be something she never tried before, who knows man), that she wasn’t lying, that she felt like she was going to throw up, and her parents told her that they didn’t care, that if she didn’t eat she’d see what real tears were for, and that they hoped she threw up.
Listen. I get that feeding your children is stressful, and who knows what the family may have been dealing with that day. Reallllly trying not to judge. But I felt like I was watching disordered eating being created in front of me. The shame, the tears, the threats all centered around food.
So I wanted to share the following with you all. Your children will eat when they are hungry. Unless there is a medical problem that you should talk to your pediatrician about, there is NO NEED to force feed children. Ever. Full stop. It is ok if you’re two year old only eats two bites of waffle for breakfast. Ok if they take one look at dinner and decide to skip it. They’ll make it up at the next meal, or the next day. Just serve them what you’re having and try to hold off on snacks or replacements. Yes, it can be frustrating when they refuse the wonderful meal you just made them, but we’re trying to raise kids who trust their bodies and their own decisions, right? RIGHT?!
Let’s raise intuitive eaters who know how to listen to their body cues. Who know that food is joy and love and strength, not a cause for stress and angst. Model healthy eating habits, eliminate diet talk, and for goodness sakes do not make mealtime fraught with anxiety. I promise your children will pick up on damaging body image and food talk from other places, let’s not have them start at home.
Wondering how to raise intuitive eaters as infants and toddlers? Reach out and I’d be happy to discuss! Or let me know if this is a topic y’all would like to hear more about it in future newsletters.
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