Not going to lie folks, I’ve felt a little off lately.
I know it’s a combo of a lot of big transitions coming up, including not working a 9-5 office job for the first time… ever in my adult life. It’s got me spinning y’all. I’ve also gotten some really cool opportunities, like teaching a graduate course on Latinx culture and doing trainings for child care centers about autism. All things I love, but things that take time and effort to do well.
You see, when my head is as full as it has been lately, I start getting a little in my feelings. Imposter syndrome starts to creep in. Anxiety tries to set up shop. Conscious, intentional parenting becomes ten times harder and all I want to do is lie in bed.
So what do I do, besides making sure I get my virtual butt to therapy?
Slow way down (when possible). Maybe this is not the week to try a new recipe, or sign up for a new project. Maybe it’s better to sit and play with my little one, and ignore the packages I need to send.
Choose what nourishes me, not what’s easy. I know I’ve said this before, but true self-care, especially as a parent, is SO HARD. It is not just bubble baths and candles. I know that things like journaling, meditating, exercise, and reading make me feel better. Reparenting helps me heal. But turning on another episode of The Office can be so much easier. So, I try to choose what I know works. TBH though, sometimes your girl is tired and just wants to watch Jim and Pam get together again.
Call a friend. You guys, I’m a deep introvert. And when things get hard, I lean into it and hide, and refuse to ask for help. Even though hearing from a friend always makes me feel great after. So again, I (try!) to choose what I know will be good for me in the long run, even if I get anxious in the moment.
Remember that I’m modeling the behavior I want to see. Reminding myself that my little is watching and soaking everything in makes those tough choices a bit easier. Got to be a good ancestor.
Rope in my partner. Having an accountability buddy is essential. My partner knows what fills me up, and encourages me to take care and time for myself when I’m feeling down. And I try to do the same for him when he needs it. Although we have very different needs, knowing what works and reminding each other is so helpful (albeit a tiny bit annoying in the moment).
And that’s it! Those are the simple yet really difficult steps that help me when I’m feeling down. They are things I can control when the world starts to spin away from me. I know they make me a better partner, a better mother, and just a happier person overall.
So if you’re feeling the same way, but maybe don’t have a buddy to talk to or a partner they can call on, let me know.
Self care is community care y’all.
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